1992 → 1997 → 2005 → 2015 → 2030 → 2045 → 2060 → 2242

The INTERNET

Research Paper

Ugh! This art block sucks! I can't draw $#!@!

Please God! Do something!

Pop!

Meh. *namf* *namf*

Higgins! Higgins! Get in here!
Yessir, Mr.President of Television?

I want you to cancel that crappy Sci-Fi Show, FarGate!
We don't have a FarGate sir. We have a StarGate and a FarScape.

Well, cancel the crappy one!
I don't watch tv, sir

THEN JUST PICK ONE!
Okay sir.

And make a spin-off of the other one
Yessir.

"Good artists copy. Great artists steal."

You know who said that?

Me.

*PSST!* Hey Kid.

You wanna start pulling in some *real* money?

*sigh*

I fell that I have a higher calling

Dammit, just give me a SIGN!

You don't

Hm.

*Type* *Type* *Type*

What it's like to be an indie game developer:
I did it!

RATING: 1/5
EVERYBODY HATES ME

Will I ever be as good as the old masters?
Will I ever be as good as the old masters?
Will I ever be as good as the old masters?
I'm the best.

I made this.
You made this?
I made this.

T-this is my fursona, "Shadow the Hedgehog" aka "The Ultimate Lifeform"!! He's really cool cause he's always angry, and has cool red streaks, jet-powered shoes and a GUN!! He can also control time with the 7 Chaos Emeralds and also generate SUPER POWERFUL energy spears!! He was created to save humanity but his IDENTITY CRISIS made him have AMNESIA...

Chainsawsuit can't be about chefs and law and order forever. Gotta look outside my comfort zone.
Hope this helps me broaden my horizons!
[Enters "butt town" night club]
[Never returns to desk]

Almost...Here it comes...! [Band release second album]
I PREFERRED THEIR OLDER STUFF THEY USED TO BE GOOD NOW THEY'VE LOST IT BETRAYED THEIR LOYAL FANBASE THEY'RE NOT EVEN THE SAME BAND ANYMORE WHERES THE HEART? IT USED TO BE ABOUT THE MUSIC BLOODY SELLOUTS THEIR FAME WENT TO THEIR HEADS ....

I hate it!
You suck!
I want more!

1989 Age 6: Wow, this is the greatest game ever.
1994 Age 11: This is awesome. It can't get better than this.
1998 Age 15: A masterpiece. This is the best game ever made
2002 Age 19: What the hell is this bullshit? It's too fucking easy. This game is geared towards casuals.
2008 Age 25: CASUAL CASUAL SHOVELWARE SHOVELWARE CASUAL CASUAL SHOVELWARE SHOVELWARE
?
2008 Age 6: Wow, this is the greatest game ever.

Sometimes I think your comics aren't funny, they're just mean.
Fuck you.

The Artist: Aw man. That guy's cake is way better than mine.
The Audience: Holy shit! Two cakes!

Father: Child, it's your birthday tomorrow, you know what that means right?
Child: Oh boy!
Father Tonight you get a visit from the birthday skeleton!
Child: The what?
Skeleton: Hello small human. What material wealth do you wish for?
Child: A-An Xbox?
Skeleton: The contract is sealed.

[A cute girl demonstrates how to commit suicide by hanging]

Deaf: CLARENCE. I am the angel of deaf.
Clarence: Are you... are you here to take my hearing?
-
Deaf: WHAT?

Who needs hair? I've got a beard.
Everyone just thinks my heads upside-down.

I beat it! Finally!
And I unlocked the achievement!
Son, all of these video games are a waste of your time. Go outside and do something that is actually rewarding.
[Builds a snowman]
[Snowman melts]

Age 29: Ha ha, if this is what being "old" is like, I'll take it!
Age 30: Ooh - guess I overdid that run! Well, as long as i can sit at a desk and work
Age 32: My fucking shoulder has been destroyed by ctrl-z

Don't be nervous.
It's been more than ten years since the last time you saw Snake. Be Cool.
be cool be cool
Snake! Get --

Yup, fuck this shit!
I ain't ever gonna play this shit game again.
........
[Plays game again]

I took over this project when a colleague of mine left, and he had taken it over from someone else who had take it over from the CTO when it was just version 3! It's one of the company's greatest projects! It makes me proud to be able to hand it all over to you! There are loads of new features coming up! There's quite a lot of code, I'll leave you to take a look and make yourself at home. Good luck!

10 Years Ago: Pile of letters = Boring; One email = Exciting!
Now: 436 unread emails = Boring; One letter = Exciting!

Vanilla
HD texture pack
ENB
SweetFX

I've made a robot that screams!
AAAAAAAAAA
Why?

We're proud to be able to announce... iphone 5. Well, not proud.
I mean it's taller. A tall fella I tell ya what. Get your apps on there.
It's an okay phone.

Eternally optimistic stock analysis.

I'd like your financial advice. I'm thinking of buying a 16 gig iPhone with a top-of-the-line plan.

Well young man, if you do, that will cost you $299, plus a $36 activation fee, and for the ultimate plan, $130/month.

At the end of your two youear contract, you will have paid $3455. If you keep that plan for four more years, you will have paid almost $10,000!

But if you don't, and instead invest that money, with the miracle of compound interest, by the time you retire, you could have well over a million dollars!

So my advice is, skip the iPhone, and you will be a millionaire.

Woah! That's good advice!

iPhone 3G! WHOOHOO!

If we crash, I'll survive and you'll die!
Now we're even!
But now if we crash, I'll survive and You'll Die!
Now we're even again!
Now if we crash...
Aargh! I Can't afford the car payments and gas! I'm bankrupt!
Finally the roadwats are safe for us!

Bro: Ayy gurl, you like big dicks?
Girl: Yes.
Bro: Darn.

[Reading book: Taking care of your turtle]
Woman: Let's do it and never stop
[Turtle is dead]

[Reading book: Moderating /v/]
Woman: Let's do it and never stop
[/v/ is unmoderated]

[A Kill la Kill themed parody of "Loss", the 9/11 of web comics]

[Plops on to the floor]
No one is right. Everyone is wrong.
[Huge argument]

I specifically requested the opposite of this.

If you ever become depressed...
And things are going wrong...
Just curl up cozy on the floor..
And sing this little song...
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuc

I want to be successful
[Success is at the top of effort hill]
Oh no

I've made so many mistakes in this life...
I've let down everyone I know at one time or another...
except for you... you are my last chance to be perfect.
Here's your milk little buddy.
I wanted a blue cup!

A belief.
Evidence you're wrong
Evidence you're right

Block me. baldie.
*Blocked*
He blocked me LOL. Life goal. Honored.
*right click* *save*

Where ya headin', bub?
Could you just drive around until I fall asleep?
Uh...sure...

Robber: Gimme all your money!!
Victim: Ah! Ok! Go easy!
[Victim produces questionable my little pony "wallet"]
[Victim tearfully produces money from "wallet" cavity]

Old Man: It is dangerous to go alone. Take this.
Link: It will keep me safe?
Old Man: No. There is no safety to be found in a sword. A sword brings death. It does not give life. It is a responsibility. A burden.
Old Man: This is no gift. It is a curse.
Old Man: I hope one day you will forgive me.

Little-known Fact #839: There are only twenty-three people alive today, and you're one of them; everyone else you know just looks human to lull you into not searching for the other twenty-two. Lonely? You should be.

Calvin: If I've learned one thing in life, it's that everyone has his price.
Calvin: Raise the ante high enougn, and there's no such thing as scruples! People will do anything if the price is right!
Hobbes: What's your price?
Calvin: Two bucks cold cash up front.
Hobbes: I don't know which is worse, that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.
Calvin: I'd make mine higher, but it's hard to find buyers as it is.

[Link skips through a heartfelt monologue]

Situation: There are 14 stupid threads.
14?! Ridiculous! We need to complain about them in one single drama thread. Yeah!
Soon: Situation: There are 15 stupid threads.