I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and Im fucking retarded but I dont care, Im beautiful. Im having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me Apache and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you cant accept me youre a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.