Comic Lifestyle of the Modern Earwig
I don't know how it feels to read this but while writing it I discovered a new mixture of sympathy and revulsion.

Transcript:
Comic 'Lifestyle of the Modern Earwig'

What are those pincers for? Earwigs use them to carry fibrous material for their nests. In the modern age this often means man-made materials like carpeting or pocket lint.
[Ilustration: An earwig confusedly examines his butt]

Industrious earwigs may visit your pockets four times a day on average. That's a lot of lint! [Four assloads to be precise]
[Illustration: An earwig carries lint]

Earwigs are widely believed to be poisonous but their sting rarely results in death
[Illustration: Pie chart showing results earwig venom, emesis, paralysis, death]

There are as many earwigs in your body as teeth
[Illustration: Earwigs and teeth]



Comments
Viper2011-04-09 09:27:54
I am going to knock my teeth out now. No more earwigs for me!
Jacksaunt2011-04-09 12:16:19
Earwigs, in MY body?
Starch2011-04-09 12:30:08
It's more likely than you think.
Bloody Mary2011-04-09 14:05:21
I like it. I actually think I enjoy these more than the colored ones.
Captain Crazy2011-04-09 16:42:55
I didn't need my teeth anyway.
Flamecannon2011-04-09 16:49:04
What are you guys talking about he's comparing the quantity of teeth to earwigs.
Riottt2011-04-09 18:56:45
AAAuaUAaaghHaGH!
Sprok2011-04-09 20:38:18
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
The Corporation2011-04-09 21:44:54
AW SHIIIIII-
Daedalus2011-04-11 01:51:25
Aw come on.
Riot2011-04-11 01:51:38
Really?
Monica2011-04-11 08:38:54
This is exactly why I recommend a daily teaspoon of Works Toilet Bowl Cleaner.
Ryan2011-04-12 00:30:49
This is total bullshit. Don't believe him. Seriously, POCKET LINT? What do they do with it after? Eat it? There's no colony inside of me, I'm sure it would cause health problems. It's would be a parasitic relationship. Nice job freaking everyone out though :p

32 earwigs... That would be scary.
Super Chao2011-04-15 16:00:14
Ryan, maybe you live a place where there are no earwigs.
Kilser2011-04-15 18:31:25
Thank god I dont live with earwigs.
Kitkat2011-04-16 18:17:13
Oh, dear. Is this true? I sure hope not.
That Other Guy2011-04-17 21:56:42
uggghhhhh, thank you, so much. Because I didn't despise earwigs enough without the mental image of 32 of them crawling around my intestines or something...
Caaptain Thomas2011-04-18 22:27:01
Oh, god.
Will2011-04-19 07:05:42
Omg you sir are a legend! love all your comics
Groundhog2011-05-07 17:19:09
Earwigs do none of that, not sure why anybody believes it. There are plenty of earwigs here, i used to let them pinch me as a child, it tickles. They live in dark wet areas like under rocks and leaves, and dont have nests with lint, they lay eggs in small crevices (found this out recently after turning over a stone and seeing several earwigs scurry to cover several egg clusters).
Groundhog2011-05-07 17:20:55
Turns out the pincers are penises, who knew!? Great, I got molested by earwigs as a child... http://www.interestingfacts.org/fact/earwigs-facts
Shadowed2011-05-23 14:58:48
HOLY SHI-
MegaScience2011-05-24 17:06:24
... AHH! AH AH AH! AW GOD DAMN IT BADSPOT!
Goku!2011-06-12 18:59:47
Ahh! AH AH AH! AH! THAT HURTS! OW OH HOLY SH-*dies*
Gothboy772011-06-21 21:31:29
Holy shit I didn't even know what these damned things were called!
Knowledge is food--osht Sonny would kill me if he heard that!
Jeb2011-08-08 17:26:09
Aw. I thought this was my parents way of making me take a bath.
BurnaBoy2011-08-20 01:03:19
You Made me Google it!!!
Mr. event2011-08-25 23:07:51
I find this disturbing...
2011-09-11 18:50:19
Lol @ the people taking this seriously.
Justalittlecanadian2012-01-02 20:38:42
There are no earwigs where I've live my whole life. It's too cold here. The bugs warm places have freak me out to the point of not wanting to move. I'll stick with bear, moose, and deer thanks.
Blargh2012-01-02 20:41:01
It's a joke - much love from someone in a warmer part of Canada than you.
Blargh2012-01-02 20:42:52
Aka. Your sister. <3
BenCulture2012-02-17 19:39:27
Now that is a VERY funny lie!
Lozenge2012-07-18 16:18:51
EXCUSE ME WHILE I BURN MY BODY TO GET RID OF THESE FUCKERS.
AI2014-11-24 17:33:20
1. Earwig's biting you cannot lead to death
2. There are not any earwigs inside of you


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